When you’ve binged on dating to the point of nausea. Every profile tastes the same to you. Steaming heaps of pictures of him travelling through India. At a friend’s wedding. His love of Michael Chabon. The Macbook pro he can’t live without. The kind of whiskey he likes to drink. You can’t keep stats straight anymore. Who is looking for an intelligent woman with a wicked sense of humour and who is looking for a partner in crime again? You don’t remember. You just show up at the wine bar and figure out who he is once you get there.
Let’s face it, dating IS tiring, but how do you know when you really need a break? Have you ever experienced dating fatigue? Do you find yourself: restless, listless, disengaged, unengaging? Conversation is like squeezing water from a stone. Drop. By. Drop. You might not even realize you have it! Chanel Omari, ex reality bravo-lebrity turned celebrity radio host on iHeartRadio and WBLI 106.1 breaks it down for you and tells you how to know if you have dating fatigue and how to rebound.
Here are the symptoms of dating fatigue:
- You’re bored. You find yourself going through the motions and have no real desire to engage with your date. Her interests and hobbies? You could care less. She could be the first woman to climb Mt. Everest without an oxygen tank and you would be unfazed.
- You’ve become cynical and jaded. Bad dating experiences have tainted your opinion of the entire female population. You now suspect that all people you date lie or bend the truth. You’re inclined to make hasty assumptions and have caught yourself saying things like, “All women are difficult and demanding.”
- You’re no longer polite. In the early days of dating, you would have excused someone for being a few minutes late or monopolizing the conversation about their latest work saga. Not anymore. You’re prone to cut dates off midsentence and display your disappointment if they don’t exactly resemble their picture.
- You’ve become a lazy dater. Most of your dates are in Starbucks so as to eliminate the burden of finding a place. In some cases, you defer the task of selecting a place to your date.
- You’re vocal about your disappointment. You’ve been on and off a variety of dating sites and have yet to meet your match. Frustrated, the focal point of all your conversations is your dating woes. You spend time on dates rehashing dating horror stories of the date who downed three martinis in a half hour and the single mom who spent the entire date texting her babysitter.
- You’re resigned. You’ve abandoned all hope that you’ll ever find that special someone. You’re convinced that you’re just some unlucky schmuck whose destiny it is to be alone forever.
After being single for a while, the thought of going out on another date on another app seems dreadful and that’s when dating fatigue kicks in. You become jaded because of all the disappointments, rejection you’ve been through and one more date seems like the end all be all. But do not give up hope because that’s not the answer. We all have to keep our hearts and minds open to love and realize
Here are some tips to overcome your dating fatigue:
- Don’t travel far for first dates. This has happened so many times to me and my friends. Don’t travel far because then you don’t have to put high expectations on the date. If you don’t travel far, you won’t be so disappointing if the date doesn’t go as planned.
- Don’t go on dates when you’re tired. If you’ve had a long week and don’t think you’ll be fully invested in the date, don’t do it. Don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, sorry, but I have to cancel. I’m just really exhausted and want to meet you when I’m awake.” That’s much better for him that going on the date, being tired and awful, and wasting both you and his time.
- Go to events/clubs to have fun, not meet boys. Stop putting expectations on whether the night is good or not if you met a guy. Go out with your friends, embrace your single life and just have fun.
- Text if you want to text. Don’t play hard to get. Don’t overthink it. If you’re thinking of him, and want to text him, do it.
- Screen your dates with video chat and do your due diligence. Make sure to face time your date before you go out on an official date with them.
- Do activities you like. Join a sports team, go on a hike with some friends and enjoy nature, take that spin class you always wanted to but never did, read a book, do what makes you happy.
- Learn from the experience. Instead of going home and crying your eyes out, take a deep look inside. Learn from the experience. There is always a lesson you can take away and it’s what makes you stronger.
- Appreciate the experienceforbeing an experience. Whether good or bad, it happened. Appreciate it for being an experience in itself. You went out, you met someone new, it didn’t work, but it was still a worth-while experience.
- Get off all dating apps for a little bit. Take a break. Apps are great, but also exhausting. It’s annoying being rejected repeatedly.
- Breathe. I don’t care how old you are or how unlikely it seems. People fall in love at all different ages. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Understand it’s going to be OK and you will find the perfect person for yourself.
Credits: Chanel Omari